One of the things that might catch you off-guard during your wedding planning is when your mum, or soon-to-be mother-in-law, suddenly seems to go crazy and turns in to the mum equivalent of the fabled Bridezilla. In this case, a Mumzilla.
Or maybe it’s not such a surprise after all – it might just be more of what you’ve unfortunately had to deal with all your life: a mother who is overbearing, controlling and wants to have it all her way. Only she wants to have YOUR wedding day her way, and that’s a step too far.
There are three types of Mumzilla – the one we just discussed, who has always been like this. The one who wants to make up for letting you down in the past and is going over the top for your wedding. And the one who didn’t have the wedding of her dreams, so is living vicariously through yours.
It’s not going to be easy to tame your Mumzilla. It will take a lot of will power, you and your other half setting firm boundaries, and some tough love. She’s not going to like it one little bit.
Here’s five ways you can keep her in check
1. Let your wedding planner know
If you have a wedding planner, they can run interference with your Mumzilla to make sure you get to enjoy your day.
2. Make all the big decisions early on
Make the decisions before Mumzilla has a chance to get involved, that way they can’t be changed once she is.
3. Warn all your vendors
Let your vendors know that they are not to take any orders from your Mumzilla. This means she doesn’t tell the caterers what to do, the DJ or band what songs to play, the photographer what photos to take and so on. If they didn’t hear it from the bride and groom directly then it isn’t happening!
4. Give her something to do to feel included
If she really has to do something, give her responsibility for something that isn’t as important as the big day itself. Maybe she can organise a bridal shower or help make some of the decorations.
5. Get her a babysitter
Ask one of your friends or relatives, preferably one who understands the situation, to sit with her at the wedding to keep her entertained and in check in case she has the overwhelming urge to want to meddle.
Your mum or mother-in-law is an important part of the day, but should not be the focus of the day, and shouldn’t have the power to disrupt your wedding and make you and your guests unhappy.