Popular culture would have you believe that after a couple get married, they leave their reception and go off to their honeymoon suite to have the sort of mind-blowing sex that exists in romantic movies.
But in reality it would appear that not everyone has this experience, if they bother doing the deed at all.
A UK survey by MedExpress.co.uk of more than 2,400 men and women over the age of 22 who have been married within the last two years has found that more than half of brides found their wedding night sex was “unsatisfying”.
Respondents were asked if they were generally happy with their sex lives, with 79% stating that they were happy overall.
They were then asked if they had sex on their wedding night, and the majority (88%) said that they had at least tried.
But that’s where the fairytale ends. More than half the women surveyed – 57% – said they didn’t find sex with their new spouse particularly exciting on their wedding night.
This is probably news to the blokes, because just 22% of the males surveyed said they found their wedding night sex unsatisfying.
Reasons given by women who found their wedding night sex to be unsatisfying were:
1. My husband drank too much – 39%
2. My husband could not maintain an erection – 35%
3. My husband was too tired – 12%
4. My husband was too nervous– 4%
5. My husband wasn’t in the mood – 3%
The reasons given by the men who found their wedding night sex unsatisfying were:
1. My wife said she was too tired – 37%
2. My wife wasn’t in the mood- 21%
3. My wife got too drunk – 12%
4. My wife kept crying – 5%
5. My wife was annoyed at me – 3%
It’s not compulsory to have sex on your wedding night, obviously. The tradition of it being a big deal stems from the times when couples saved themselves until marriage so this was the first opportunity they generally had to get it on together, so they would do so with great enthusiasm. Chances are it’s not such a big deal for you and you’ve both done it many, many times before together.
Weddings, too, are a bigger logistical challenge than they used to be. You’re up at 6am to get your hair and makeup done, you’ve both been drinking all day, then you’re exhausted from standing in heels and traipsing around for your photo shoot, dancing and chatting to all those guests.
Whether you do it on the night or don’t, it’s your business of course, just try not to put too much unnecessary pressure on yourselves. You might not get another wedding night, but you still have the rest of your lives to be intimate with one another, and that’s what matters most.